Maybe I can set Chewwy out on the intruder. She hasn’t been fed in ages, so she’s totally devour it. It’s be like Arachnid Gladiators.
Imagination is running wild and I’m beginning to think that is wasn’t a spider but a mouse…. or a small dog.
Just saw the biggest motherfucking spider run from underneath my guitar across my bedroom floor and under my bed, which I’m in. I swear to fuck it was so big my first reaction was to look up at Chewwy’s home, to see if she was out, cos I swore it was her. Also, Chewwy (my tarantula) is almost the size of my palm. This fucker was huge and so fucking fast. And it’s right underneath me. It shouldn’t bother me, cos I own a tarantula, but Chewwy’s in a container, this fucker is raving away in my room, under my frickin bed. For the first time ever I understand why people see a spider in their room and feel like they can’t sleep there. Usually it doesn’t bother me, but this fucker was HUGE and FAST. Ickkk, someone giz a hand getting rid of him. I was all up for an early night, but I have a feeling I’m just gonna be sitting up chain-smoking all night, too terrified to sleep in case it crawls up onto me. Weh.
I’m not sober enough to do a proper dialogue for this conversation but basically after work, I went to Captain America’s, with 3 of the comic book shop guys, and I was milling through the 3 quid cocktail list and there was karaoke on in the background and some girl was murdering a song and I commented on how it sounded like she was being sodomised. And one of the guys just goes “I know what that means, I read it in a book recently, it means to fall off of a cliff.”
-He was dead serious.
I was in disbelief, like this was the best moment of my life, I got to ruin his innocence. I got a video of when I explained it to him, and if it’s not too embarrassing to me sober, I’ll put it up. But to me, that was the greatest moment of my life, the guy thought that sodomy was to fall off of a cliff, as if there was a particular name for it.
Sorry for the lack of punctuation, too many cocktails to care.