Geebag

I’m in shock right now and I miss you so much.

I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me, I feel like this is my fault.
I wish I could go back and instead of being selfish, been there for you instead.

I can’t even think straight right now, it doesn’t make any sense.

I just wish we could repeat all the fun times again.

I’ll miss your crab dance, and how you never showed me how to perfect it.

I’ll miss how when you laugh so much, no sound would come out and you would make a silly, retarded face.
I miss you being drunk and getting all pally with my parents.

You’re the only person I think I’ll ever meet who got kicked out of a club for pissing on a bouncer!

I can laugh at the time you were hammered and needed a place to stay, so you came to mine and we went to the Chinese and you took your 3-in-1 tray out of the bag, even though I warned  you it’d be hot and you burned your hand and dropped it on the ground. I laughed so hard when you bent down to pick it up and all I could see was you falling over for like 2 minutes, longest battle with balance and gravity ever=]

Another thing that makes me smile it that day, in hospital, I was determined to go to the pub and you kept telling me you’d get out of bed “in five more minutes”, so I eventually I just put my arms around you and picked you up, duvet and all and carried you out of the room. You still couldn’t come to the pub though because you were “grounded”.

I’ll miss all our little in jokes; “just hanging out”, “nice one”, “bad buzz”, “disabled toilets, 5 minutes?”, “whacked out of it on respiratol for life, laaaaad”, “coming for a smoke?” “no” “are but you aaaare”, crab dance, re-decorating the Christmas tree with plastic cups, just decking out in the smoking room floor, “Popa fucked, had 4 panadol”.

I’d do anything for you to wake me up in the middle of the night again to tell me about your dream. I gave out about it then and went back to sleep, but given that chance again, I’d sit up with you all night and talk to you about it.

I don’t think I’ll hate minimal techno anymore, because if I hear it, it will just remind me of you.

I’m just gonna miss you, Roo. I love you so much and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve called before things got so bad. I’ll be here for Aishling, I know she meant the world to you.

You were such an amazing person, Roo. And even though I feel angry at you right now for this, I love you so much.

I’m sorry.

I hope you’re finally at peace now.

x